King-Size
King-size beds are the root of our problems demanding
bigger rooms in bigger homes costing more, consuming more
and polluting more. Bedding, accessories, accoutrements, all
add to the tab.
We have developed an infatuation with king-size
beds making them a mega slumber symbol. Checking into
a hotel, the choice is often two queens or one king.
Not sure if women are booking, but for men it is the king,
not some queen, even if there are two of them.
Given that Americans are some of world’s stoutest people and
growing, the king may become a necessity not a choice. Maybe
we should call them fat-size beds, but that would raise a
rumpus.
Why do we like king-size beds? Is it for comfort, having our
own space (creating an eating nook), romance—there are two
things to be done in bed and only one is sleep?
As to comfort, some king-size beds have a crease or seam in
the middle (if you can’t afford the giant mattress) which is
uncomfortable leading to issues with the second reason to be
in bed, romance.
If the middle of the mattress is uncomfortable and there are
acres of space on either side, do some king-size beds actually
inhibit romance? Who does the traveling; is there a schedule;
who decides?
divorce rate; I submit it is king-size beds. If you spend one
third of your life in a different zip code (opposite side of a
king-size bed) from your mate when you should be getting
cozy, it can’t be the right recipe for romance. It takes
effort and scooching over to get to the other side or out
of bed, especially for older guys, if you know what I mean.
For all those social scientists and other experts examining our
sexual habits, the answer is right between the sheets,
especially if there is a mattress crease. So get rid of
separation-inducing sleeping arrangements and put couples
back in touch with a good old double bed or maybe a queen for
the well-adjusted. Touching can be thrilling and
stimulating; let’s promote it by saying, the king is dead, long
live the queen or make mine a double.
htapoemscom 